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Take a Leap...

For God.


I am and will. Will you?

Negative force

Why are we always drawn to dwell on the negatives in our lives, instead of the positives?
Why do I focus on the things I do not know how to do/ do not have/ do not want to do instead of the things I can do/ have/ will do?

Some negative force draws us to this. Some call it the devil. I just recognize that it exists. I know that it draws me and others to blatantly ignore the positive things in our lives.

Here is a quote that I think also embodies this:

finish each day and be done with it. you have done what you could. some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day. you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. --emerson

 

I pray that you, the world, and I can focus more on the positive things in this world in order to make even more positive things for others in this world. 

Time off

Today was a normal Monday for me. I finished up on work that I should have gotten done last week, and contemplated what to do this week. As with most Mondays, this also involved me looking at the number of Paid Time Off days that I have in my "bank" and day-dreaming of when I could/should take the time off.

The bad news: I cannot bring myself to take time off. As I looked at my calendar for the months ahead, even though I don't have appointments written on them yet, I couldn't pick days to claim as a vacation.
The good news: I love my job too much to plan vacation days. Now, I know that this will wear off. Twenty years from now I will be longing for vacation days and wishing for time off. It doesn't help that I am used to years in the education system--where you are told when you get a vacation: summer break, spring break, etc.

So, how does this correlate to my Lent blog? I wish I felt this way about my relationship with God. I wish that I found it more difficult to take a vacation from God.
I hope that recognizing that fact will help me to solve it.

I hope that I can find a constant vacation in God's peace.

Weekend

So here is a two-for-the-price-of-one deal:

Saturday and Sunday's posts in one! :)

I spent this weekend with a wonderful friend and had a wonderful time. It wasn't until I left, however, that I truly appreciated my time with her. I realized that I was feeling that ache in the pit of my stomach--missing the times when she was just down the hall, instead of a 2 hour car ride away. I feel like I enjoyed my college years to the fullest, yet, when I looked back I wish I would have realized what I had, when I had it.

Why is it that we only appreciate what we have when we no longer have it?

New resolution: enjoy every moment and don't take anything for granted.

I am happy with where I am, what I'm doing, and who is currently in my life. I am so happy that I am able to still visit and talk with friends from my past, while making new friends as well.

My prayer, as a result from this weekend: Lord, Please help me to recognize the amazing blessings you have placed in my life, both past and present. Help me to better see the blessings that are right before me each and every day. Help me to be more thankful for what you have given me and the opportunities that arise through you. Thank you. Amen.

Change

It's a part of life-- change.
Sometimes we can control it. Sometimes we cannot.
Sometimes we just have to let God take it and help us through it.

Change makes us who we are today and shapes who we become in the future.

Okay, enough of the corny "pinterest-worthy" quotes. Today and lately I've been thinking a lot about how I've changed over the years. How my friend circles have changed. How my daily activities have changed. Through it all, God has -- I believe -- guided me.

I am thankful that I can look back and ahead and know...through any change life can throw my way...God will be with me.

Bright or Dim?

While driving home tonight on a two lane highway, I reached to put my headlights on bright. However, they were already on bright. They were already showing as much of the road as they possibly could, yet I still wanted to see more. I wanted to know what was beyond what my bright lights could reach.

As I continued to drive the sometimes windy roads, I realized that I had to simply trust what was beyond what I could see. I had to trust that I would be able to see whatever was ahead of me in enough time to react.

This trust came in handy when, on this ride, I approached a wooded area. As I turned a corner, deer were standing in the road ahead of me. Not just one deer, but several--probably about 8. The last to cross the road was a huge buck with a large rack of antlers.

My bright headlights showed me the deer in just enough time for me to break just before I reached their caravan across the road. I came to a stop directly in front of the buck as he gave me the "deer in the headlights" look.

Sometimes I feel like I am looking directly into God's plan with a similar "deer in the headlights" look. I will now try to look ahead with more trusting eyes, not wondering what is beyond my bright lights. Instead, I will trust in the light that God gives to me and will follow it where it shines.

Looking up...and ahead

A year ago...
Things were different to say the least. I was looking ahead with fear about graduating and finding a job.
Right now...
I am sitting in my apartment--paying for rent/ utilities/ cable/ internet. I am looking forward to work tomorrow. I am right where I was afraid I wouldn't be.

So what's missing?

A relationship. No, not a boyfriend. I think I'm missing a relationship with God. A real relationship. I have always had an on-again, off-again thing going on with God. I have tried to be more on-again...but sometimes its difficult. Sometimes life gets in the way, which is ironic considering that God gave me life. Shouldn't life be the reason we are close to God, not our excuse for being far from him?

So for Lent, I will be looking up at God for guidance. And looking ahead to what God will be doing in my life in the next year...

2nd time's the charm

Because I enjoyed this process so much last Lent, I have decided to do it again. As much as I typically do not like writing, reading, or words in general...this process helps me to look deeper into myself, my life, and (most importantly for this) my spirituality.

So, if you so choose, read on for the next 40 days of Lent. If you find it boring...I'm sorry. I hope that you will find it uplifting. I will try to put helpful words of encouragement that I'm finding along the way. I also hope that you will interact and comment back, if you would like.

For Lent, I'm also giving up Facebook creeping (dramatic pause for gasp and horror-ed looks). I know it seems little when I could give up Facebook altogether, but I feel that would be losing touch with a common way my friends communicate. So--to set the parameters for the next 40 days: I can check notifications but will not be going to individual pages to "creep". (on a more selfish note--this is also in boycott of the new facebook "Timeline"---ick, right?) I will hopefully be spending this time in better ways for the next 40 days!

I will also be reading a daily devotional focused for Lent in the next 40 days. But, in reality, this blog will probably include  a variety of things going on in my life.

So that's it. That's the background of how this came to be. And, one last explanation of why this isn't just a continuation of last years--- I can't remember the website or email I used to create it. The irony of it is that I posted it a lot to my facebook and having timeline would help me to find it. Oh, the irony.

Happy Fat Tuesday. And, here is to the next 40 days.